Low Self Esteem Teenagers Alert: Teenagers Can Take These 3 Simple Steps to beat low self esteem.

Teenagers are always related to high energy, sharp, witty, rebel, curios, passionate, eager, among others but if low self esteem gets the best of them, we get almost the opposite type. And the danger of this opposite type is, it carries the potential of causing future damage to the teenagers mainly, and society.

The damage comes in form of bullying, excessive fighting, revenge, and vandalism.

Tenagers can put a halt to all these by taking the steps to beat low self esteem. In fact, it can be done in 3 simple steps any teenagers are capable of.

So here’s the 3 steps:

Step One: Put things into perspective.

There are more than one ways to look at any event that happen to you. You need to ask,”What does this tells you?” to uncover them. Let say, somebody play the prank on you and hide your assignment. In class, in front of everybody, you’ll face mega issue when the teacher ask for it. But pause for a moment. Ask yourself,”What does this tells me?”

I bet you can hear answers like:
“I’m too careless”
“Somebody hates me”
“I need back up plans next time”
“SOmebody is jelous of me”
“I can handle this”
“It’s just an assignment. I can redo them anytime”

You can hear this kind of answers, among many others, all day long. What’s important for you to do anyway is to…

Step 2: Choose the best, uplifting, positive answer.

Make sense?

If you tell yourself at that moment, mentally,”Hey, I can handle this” guess who’s in charge now? Yes, YOU! No matter how’s the class react to your situation, what your classmates are buzzing about, or what your teacher’s going to react, you are in control.

How’s that feel…being in control and all?…

It’s so simple to do. You just choose the best positive response and you already beat your low self esteem. Period.

So now…

Step 3: Follow up with meaningful action.

Choosing the answers is just part of the equation. Following up with meaningful actions is just as important. A successful sales consultant wrote in one of his bestsllers,”Action precedes reaction.” And extensive studies in Neuro Linguistic Programming also shows that if subjects act confidently, without fail, they appear confident.

My friend, who involve in Direct Selling, always say this to himself before any presentation in front of any prospects,”Fake it ’till you make it!” I don’t know if that’ll work for me but my friend is the one driving around a BMW 3 Series.

So far I have presented 3 simplest steps a teenager can take to beat low self esteem. If you are reading this and you are a teenager, the feedbacks I got from those whom I shared these steps with, are never short of encouraging. See for yourself if  these steps can really beat low self esteem like others had said. And leave your feedback. Love to read that.

Filed under: Beat low self-esteem Tips , beat low self esteem, low self esteem, teenagers, tips

3 More Tips to Immediately Beat Low Self Esteem

Low self esteem is like a time-bomb, ready to explode anytime. And trying to ‘diffuse’ this mental time bomb with the wrong tools can cause unimaginable destruction. So here’s 3 tips or tools you can use to immediately beat the ticking time bomb of low self esteem.

# 1: Choose the right kind of crowd.

There was a lyric from a song which I clearly etched to my memory. It goes something like this,”Don’t read beauty magazines. It makes you feel ugly!”

To me, that’s music to my ears. And the same goes to choosing the right kind of crowd you want to associate yourself with. Napoleon Hill, the prominent philanthropist, take this concept a bit further by introducing ‘Master Mind’ concept. When you get constant encouragemnet and support to achieve a higher level, it’s hard to imagine you’ll be bogged down by low self esteem.

So when your self esteem is on the low side, call, share, and communicate with your ‘folks’. This surely puts low self esteem at a very far distance, so far, that your eyes can’t see.

# 2: Submit to a list.

This is not an ordinary list. Here’s what I mean…

For every victory which you had before you, no matter how small or insignificant that you might have think, make a list of these, and keep it handy. The longer the list, the better. And when ‘Mr. Low Self Esteem’ pays you a visit (usually unannounced), all you had to do is to submit yourself to this list.

Almost immediately you’ll feel that your pupils dilated, your heart beats faster, and you become more enthusiastic. This beats all those fancy ‘designer drugs’ everytime. Plus, it’s free, and the only side effect it has is joy.

Can you resist that?

#3: Get help.

We can’t deny that a small percentage of us, can’t beat low self esteem alone. Usually they belong to the chronic group, and they need help. Profesional help. For these people, low self esteem eats them up like cancer and they become suicidal. Talks or words or imagination whatsoever, have little or no impact to them. They need to be contained and treated.

If you notice that in any of your friends, or you yourself are having this, the best thing to do here is to immediately seek professional help.

But my words might have fallen to deaf ears. I wouldn’t know, would I?

Obviously for the last tips, you can choose a reputable institution or organization but if you think you can handle it on your own, with just minimal help from your trusted ones or loved ones, then you want to follow some proven guide or sort. Steps To Self Esteem is one of them.

Filed under: Beat low self-esteem Tips , Beat low self-esteem Tips, low self esteem, self esteem, tips

Avoid These 3 Things And You’ll Avoid Low Self Esteem

You’ve heard the expression ‘Prevention is better than cure’. But in this article, prevention comes in the form of avoidance. I knew both convey totally different messages but in this instances, I just can’t avoid it

If you want to avoid low self esteem, just avoid these 3 things that lead to it:

1. Avoid infertile environment.
2. Avoid limiting beliefs.
3. Avoid daunting tasks.

Lets discuss each factors in turn…

*Avoid planting your seeds in the desert*

Some of us believe in miracle. I do too. But the kind of miracle I believe in, includes the things that follow ‘the Law of Cause and Effect’. I don’t expect to see my grains grow healthily in a barren desert, do you?

So to avoid low self esteem, if you see that your environment be it working environment, neighbourhood, or family, does not nurture your self-esteem, maybe it’s time to reconsider planting your seed somewhere else. You don’t need to settle for low self esteem when there’s obviously better option.

*Failure of Success…Thinking Makes It So*

This is pretty basic. What you believe about your ability determine whether you do it or you don’t. Your believe about food determine whether you’ll eat the food or not. And your believe towards people determine how you interact with them.

Limiting belief causes limiting action and feeling which includes low self esteem. Often time, belief is where avoiding detrimental effect of low self esteem must begin. As the experts like to put it: from inside – out.

*Avoid daunting task*

A friend of mine was a manager for a pharma company. He was a star performer hence he got promoted after working for one year as an executive. Enthusiasm was shown all over his face after he got promoted but little that realized, his career was going to be short lived.

Why?

Before taking up the post, he heard from his colleagues that they would give him full support. “The task as a manager was not difficult,” they said. And my poor friend walk straight into the trap (the price for listening to cheap talk).

Sure enough, he was pressured. He was pressured from his upper management, and sadly, from his own ’so-called’ supporter. They demand too much, work just enough to keep their job, and they complained non-stop.

During the managers meeting, my poor friend would take the back seat, and talk only a little, afraid of being asked to explain his team poor performance (classic low self esteem symptoms).

Moral: you can take up bigger responsibility as long as you’ve got your ground covered. If not, you could end up like my ‘low self esteem’ friend. Ask yourself,”Am I up to it?”

In short, whenever you caught yourself or someone else in an infertile environment, having limiting beliefs, and taking up daunting tasks, you’re doing them a big favor by leading them away (avoid, prevent) from all that. And you’re actually leading them to avoid low self esteem.

Filed under: Avoid low self esteem , Avoid low self esteem, low self esteem, self esteem

3 Frequently Asked Question By People Who Want To Beat Low Self Esteem

Thinking of finding ways to beat low self esteem? Thinking of beginning? What’s holding you back? Your doubts and their probable aswers might be in any of these 3 frequently asked questions from people who had begun before you.

Question 1.

“Can I do it alone?”

Typically, this question was frequently asked by many self independant individuals who find themselves trapped in a race towards reaching their goals. It is more prominent in the sales world where competition among sales person are stiff. Those who are left behind stressed themselves out looking at other sales person went on stage, get promoted, or smiling to the bank to cash out sales incentives.

I’ve witnessed this first hand, and low self esteem causes them to become introvert and shy away.

They often refuse when help was offered, not because they don’t want to, but it’s more of they want to do everything by themselves.

So can they do it alone?

It depends. It works for some but as I can observed, success rate is higher for people who work in groups. It’s enough to say that, you are better off having someone to watch your back and to keep you on track.

Question 2.

“Who do I turn to for help?”

My immediate answer is to a professional. They know their stuff and generally provide better guidance.

Next, your loved ones. But be careful of who you choose to help you out. Feeling can be a big barrier. Loved one often feel guilty watching you suffer when you are making effort to beat low self esteem. Choose the one who can stand apart, isolate the issue, adopt coaching attitude, and interested to see you succeed.

Lastly, your peers. There’s a fine line between choosing peers over loved ones. Some experts favor peers. And my argument for putting peers after loved ones simply relies in bonding issue. People who want to beat low self esteem need to feel close to their support. They don’t need their support to shadow them but they need to know that the support is there when needed.

Personally, I find that loved ones bond better, and most likely to stick with you through thick and thin. In certain cases, parents have been proven to provide strongest support towards their offsprings who want to beat low self esteem, compared to offsprings’ peers.

Question 3.

“Why me?”

The reason to why this question came into the list of FAQs are many. The question itself implies many underlying causes, like for instance inferiority complex. And this is not at all similar to low self esteem.

It’s a fact that to solve a problem effectively, we need to get to the ‘real’ cause of it. And solutions to inferiority complex often do not help in beating low self esteem.

Through thorough observation, people who asked this question, are actually looking for connection: series of explanation that bring about low self esteem. Usually, it got nothing to do with finding solution. The focus is more on finding reasons.

So what’s the best course of action?

People with low self esteem usually think less of themselves, so logically, they’re looking for ‘evidence of events’ that support such thought. Stop them on their track by interrupting their thought pattern with ‘lead questions’.

Such lead questions which you can employ is,“What not yet perfect for you?”. Follow up with,“What do you want instead?”. And close with this,“So tell me, how are you going to get what you want?”

Personally, I’ve found this to work best under relaxing environment, and the right timing. I also found that both conditions are quite hard to co-exist but when they do, use the moment to the maximum because the outcome is more lasting and rewarding.

Do all these clear your doubt and address your concern to ? Take them as guidepost. And if you have more question to beating low self esteem, open them up. Or if you rather begin your effort to beat low self esteem, there’s some solid guidance by a professional who literally walks you through each steps to uncover the secrets of self esteem.

And you don’t have to make it too hard on yourself…

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How To Combat Four Possible Low Self Esteem Causes: Beat Low Self Esteem At It’s Root.

I have written elsewhere about four possible causes of low self esteem. Here’s a brief description about them along with recommendation to beat low self esteem at it’s root.

*The upbringing*

Often time, without realizing the consequences, parents label their child behavior that causes them to grow up thiking the label as part of who they are. It is not an issue for compliment-type labels. The issue is with condemning-type of labels.

Imagine a child growing up thinking that they are lazy because they didn’t take out the trash one Sunday morning, or thinking that they’re disobedient and can never follow rule simply because they didn’t make up the bed on Saturday morning.

Imagine the child growing up with ‘lazy, disobedient, sloopy, dumb, stupid’ stamped on their forehead. It’s unlikely for them to change because that’s who they are.

So if we realize this ‘reality’ later in life, how do we change the low self esteem labels?

We can do these few things:

1. Accept the reality but tell yourself,”That’s how my parents, guardians, etc., see me. That’s who I used to be. Now, I’m a different person.”

2. Set new standards for yourself. Set new desirable attributes. A new you. Say, if you weigh 10 kilograms more than your ideal weight, set new standard to be in your ideal weight. Do this in chunck. Put one step, one standard at a time.

3. Belive in the new you and that’s who you are now. Reinforce this belief as often as you can, and take your time with this. You’ve been living with it as far as you can remember so it won’t easily go in a day or two.

3. Take action. And notice what’s working and what’s not for you. Keep refining your action until you get to your new you. Remember to reward yourself along the way so that you want to do more.

*Negative environment*

If we are seeds, our environment is the soil. The sole purpose of environment is to provide us with sunshine and minerals so we seeds, can grow. If we did not grow and turn to dust, that’s the sign that we’re in negative environment.

We’ll feel more hopeless if we realize that we can’t choose our environment. But do we really can’t choose our environment?

Long time ago, a prisoner of war visualized daily that one day, he would stand in front of students in a lecture hall to tell them about his war experience, and to tell them that there are far better ways to resolve conflict than war. This P.O.W’s story was beatifully told by Stephen Covey in his bestsellers ‘7 Habits Of Highly Effective People.’

That story contains the key to beat low self esteem which stem from negative environment, and that is: To visualize daily the kind of life you desire.

Despite all the negative vibes surrounding you, you will come out victorious.

*Intolerable behavior of others*

You’ve heard the notion of ‘peer pressure’ before. If you’re working, you might have also heard and understand what ‘back stabbers’, ’sugar lips’, ‘bad mouth’ are all about.

These intolerable behaviors of others affect you directly and you know what they do to your self esteem. Some choose to fight and create conflict. Some choose to live with it which translated as low assertive and low self esteem.

What can we do with intolerable behaviors of others that leads to low self esteem?

1. Be precise with what you want. Don’t let someone else make the decision what’s good and what’s not for you. You know YOU better, right?

2. State your argument ‘verbally’ or ‘non-verbally’ to tell them where you stand. Don’t let them assume or guessing.

3. Forgive and forget. A psychologist I knew once said,”Snake bite doesn’t kill. The venom that’s left in your body does.” All those criticism, condemnation, slanders do not lower your self esteem. Accepting all that do. So, it’s much better for you to forgive and forget.

*Radical changes*

Sudden changes especially those that were uncalled for, easily affected self esteem. Take a job for example. A promotion raises self esteem. A demotion or lay-off causes low self esteem. Often the key lies in managing changes that happened in your life, be it suddenly or gradually.

Obviously, the question now is how do you manage low self esteem due to radical change?

I can recommend few simple steps for you:

1. Get involve. This might surprised you but many so called ‘victims’ actually did nothing when the news reach them. It’s true that most of the time, we can’t predict changes but it’s also true that most of the time, we can do something about it.

- We can start looking for a new job
- we can start our own business
- we can go back to school to learn something new
- we can jump to other industry
- we can migrate
- we can start all over again

Choose to do something. Choose to get involve and beat your low self esteem up front.

2. Take your time. Time may heal or time may kill. And since the change is radical, give yourself time to absorb it. You might not understand it intially but after sometime you can always see where the change is taking you, and how it’s effecting your self esteem. It can go either way – high or low.

To sum this up in a few words, all four possible causes of low self esteem were not carved in stones. If we look deep enough, we can find ways to recognize, address and manage them, and ultimately we can beat low self esteem at it’s root. Once and for all.

Filed under: Low Self Esteem Causes , beat low self esteem, low self esteem